ARTICLE: He’s Older – Final part

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ARTICLE: He Is Older

Dear Gurl,

With the benefits that may come with hooking up with Older members of the opposite sex- especially if they are married-you should remember to take a look at the other side of the coin. The consequent effects of such relationships are numerous, with just a few mentioned below;

He’s Older…Final part

  • Against all standards; dating and being intimate all the way through with a married man is against every standard you could think of; religious (Christian), moral, societal and personal even. Why would any sane young lady make it her life’s goal to be intimate with only married men? In the Ghanaian society, regardless of one’s religion, dating married men is absolutely frowned upon. If you are to face any problem in such a relationship, whoever you decide to talk to would eventually ask the question, “Weren’t you aware he is married?” 
  • Living with the guilt; if you are at the point where your conscience no longer bugs you, then please read no further. For those with some conscience left, knowing that you may be wrecking a fellow lady’s marriage with your misguided act could cause your conscience to continually eat at you. Initially, the effects of your relationship may be unfelt, but believe me, as time passes, that wife at home would begin noticing the presence of an intruder (You) through the actions of her beloved husband.You’re on your way to breaking a home.
  • Being Second Fiddle; yeah, you would always be the second choice; well you may manage to have his attention most of the time, but so far as he has a Wife at home, you remain the second choice who would very likely never become his main woman. You would have to cope with the, “my wife’s around, I’ll call later” or “quiet! My wife’s on the phone” and other whispers with “Wife” in there. Your role is to satisfy a certain need and remain invisible, almost as if you weren’t in his life at all. So yes, dating a married man places you at the second spot, with the Number 1 spot wagging it’s tongue at you.
  • Growing accustomed to being spoiled; with this older man spoiling you with all that money, fancy trips and easy opportunities, the likelihood of these getting stuck on you is so high. Now, the trouble sets in when you realise you need to settle down with a young man (after finally being slapped in the face with the reality that Mr. Older wasn’t going to put the ring on it) who may not be in the capacity to spoil you as Mr. Older did. You begin to contemplate if you should forgo all the goodies you were enjoying. The reluctance in letting go could cost you very capable young suitors, either because you don’t consider them or you do, but they eventually find out about Mr. Older and leave. To what end is such a relationship with an older man, is what you should brutally consider…

He’s Older – Final part

For the unmarried ones, you may take a shot at making it permanent or serious. However, bear in mind the mental slavery you may be subjected to; he would always see you as a “child”and inexperienced with nothing to bring to the table concerning his success (afterall he made all that money way before you came into the picture).Usually, you would become a Trophy Wife (for show-off to his colleagues) and that’s IF you do get the ring.

Any other negatives you could think of?

NB: Know what you want and stay focused. Act prudently in every aspect of your life no matter what position you find yourself. Be aware of realities and plan to face them accordingly.Smile…


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